Sholay: A software engineer’s version

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and started shouting: “Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya “.

Thakur [with anger]: “Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai.”

Kaalia: “Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?”

Thakur: “Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai.”

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: “Ha ha… thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate.”

Veeru shouts: “Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain.”

Jai hits his keyboard,then says: “jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya .”

AT GABBAR’S DEN…

Gabbar: “Kitne bugs the?”

Kaalia: “Do sarkaar.”

Gabbar: “Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho?
Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega …aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi… barobar milegi.”

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. “Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?”

Sambaa: “Chhey sarkaar.”

Gabbar: “Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.” [logout – logout – logout]. “Haan ab theek hai… ab tera kya hoga” Kaalia?”

Kaalia: “Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha.”

Gabbar: “To ab documentation kar!
Ha…… Ha…… Ha…… Ha…… Ha…… Ha……
Ha………………………………………

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