Category Archives: humour

Hit TV shows in Iraq


“Mad About Everything”

“U.S. Military Secrets Revealed”

“Suddenly Sanctions”

“Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest”

“Matima Loves Chachi”

“Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs”

“Wheel of Fortune and Terror”

“Iraq”s Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers”

“Achmed”s Creek”

“The Price is Right If Saddam Says It”s Right”


“Veronica”s Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses”

“Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque”

“When Kurds Attack”

“Just Shoot Me”

“My Two Baghdads”

“Diagnosis Heresy”

“Everybody Loves Saddam Or He”ll Have Them Shot”

“Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things”

“Burka Baywatch”

Sholay: A software engineer’s version

Gabbar sends Kaalia and two others to Ramgad to collect the loot-maar software he had ordered.

They reach Ramgad and started shouting: “Abe O thakur! Kahan hai woh loot-maar software? Last date to kab ka nikal gaya “.

Thakur [with anger]: “Chillao mat! jaakar Gabbar se kah do ki Thakur Software walon ne paagal kutton ke liye software banana bund kar diya hai.”

Kaalia: “Bahoot garmi dikha rahe ho thakur? Koi naye programmers hire kiye hain kya?”

Thakur: “Nazar uttha ke dekh, Kaalia, tere sar par powerbuilder chal raha hai.”

Kaalia looks up and sees Viru (Dharmendra) working on a PC on one Water tank and Jay (Amitabh) on another, using a laptop.

Kaalia Starts Laughing and says: “Ha ha… thakur ne freshers ko liya hai, Ye log Programming karenge? In ko to DOS commands bhi nahin aate.”

Veeru shouts: “Chup-chaap chala ja kutte. Hum log consultants hain, Kuch bhi kar sakte hain.”

Jai hits his keyboard,then says: “jaao kaalia, Gabbar se kahna ki uska server down ho gaya .”


Gabbar: “Kitne bugs the?”

Kaalia: “Do sarkaar.”

Gabbar: “Wo do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhi fix nahi kar sake? Kya soch key aaye ho?
Gabbar bahoot khush hoga? Naya assignment dega …aur increment bhi? Iski saza milegi… barobar milegi.”

[Snatches an X terminal from Sambaa]. “Kitne sessions hain is machine mein?”

Sambaa: “Chhey sarkaar.”

Gabbar: “Session chhey aur programmer teen. Bahoot naainsaafi hai.” [logout – logout – logout]. “Haan ab theek hai… ab tera kya hoga” Kaalia?”

Kaalia: “Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha tha.”

Gabbar: “To ab documentation kar!
Ha…… Ha…… Ha…… Ha…… Ha…… Ha……

Anybody seen this movie?

Hollywood needs AMERICA to save the world... we only need Vijayakant.
Indian movies will always be an eye opener. And here's why!

Here is a story of Vijaykant's(Local Famous Tamil Hero) next (Tamil)
movie. It is named "Captain Planet"(WOW !!! where do they get these

Vijaykant is a scientist in NASA.......( yes folks..........u read that
right. NASA...the American space lab- A very big set designed for this
by kalaipuli S.Dhaanu, fully stocked with machines with hundreds of
flashing buttons and cardboard cum aluminium foil rockets).

When our hero is busy launching a satellite to Pluto, his wife simran
is about to deliver a baby and wants to meet him. But the launch process
badly need a person like our hero, and there is no other option. Senior
scientist Radha asks him to stay back till it is launched. Our commited
hero successfully launches the satellite, and comes back home on a
horse (where have all the planes, cars, etc gone.??....:)), but alas! his
wife, meanwhile dies in childbirth. In the meanwhile, other scientists
atNASA claim that they're responsible for the launch and dont recognise
Vijaykanth and his work. He resigns from his job there and comes back
to india with his family and they all get down to leading a peaceful
life. Days go by until......

One day, the scientists, to their surprise find that SUN is closing the
gap between itself and EARTH slowly and after a while, will BURN the
earth to ashes.. All the scientists are working on saving the EARTH..
That's when they realize that only "THE HERO" (Vijaykanth) can do it...

They visit India and tell him the facts and Vijaykant returns to NASA
to save the EARTH...After a lot of research,Vijaykant invents an
instrument that will deflect the SUN from its collision path with EARTH.. All
the scientist are very happy and appreciate Vijaykanth's invention. So
finally Vijaykant is all set to go into the SPACE and save the earth.
He and his crew of one (Chandra sekhar, a prisoner in Vellore Jail, has
been choosen by our hero because nobody in US army can do that
job)travel in an spacecraft towards the SUN.

They move out of earth's atmosphere and are finally in space. Vijaykant
emerges from the spacecraft and stands on the wings of the spacecraft,
takes out the instrument and waves it in the direction of the SUN.....
Panic!!! The instrument does not work...

The terrorists have deactivated it !!!(Since they seem to be ahead of
us in terms of planning, infrastructure and technology, will it be such
a bad deal if they win?) All the scientists are worried back at the
base on the earth.....tension mounts up (as does the shrill

SUN closes in on the spacecraft............. Climax - When the SUN
floats past the spacescraft, VIJAYKANTH plants one leg firmly on the
spacecraft, turns back, and ninja style, kicks the SUN back with tremendous
force.. and jumps back into the spacecraft.... The SUN is deflected away
from its path to EARTH!!!!!!!!!!! EARTH has been SAVED...

He waves the Indian flag (freely available on all spacecrafts) and they
return to earth! The End (a happy one of course!)